You made me insecure

Tonight, I don’t want to write the kind of articles I use to. You may not understand it but never mind, I need to do it. Sometimes I am not as happy or positive as I show on my videos & posts. And actually, I am not a smiling person. I smile when I am happy or satisfied but when I have a normal mood, I don’t smile. Sometimes people think that I am always sad. It is not always untrue but I prefer to reserve this sign of happiness to something that really deserves. I don’t want to be fake. I would hate myself if I lie to people I love.

She was not her fault. Maybe yes, maybe no. I actually don’t know but the only thought of her makes me feel so insecure. For some people I will not named, she is perfect. To me, she is not but she has better capabilities than me. Even if, she represents the kind of people I hate, for a moment I wanted to be like her & to be admired like she was. I waste about six months by torturing myself with this little voice which told me :  » You’re not clever, you have not read these books, you don’t work… »

I was so wrong. Even if I got better from that situation, I still feel bad sometimes. I wanted to publish this text to tell to all of you that you should never let someone touch to your feelings. You are better than people who don’t pay attention to others’ emotions, feelings…

XoxoLola Vienne

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4 commentaires

  1. I would be curious to know who you refer too even if I might have a guess. I definitely agree though, at some point, we all try to look at ourselves through other’s. But even if sometimes you ain’t got no mood, you must raise for yourself only.

    I definitely admire you’re way of writing it..

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